A beautiful friend of mine recently said on her Facebook page that social media is only fake if you fake it. It struck a chord with me. And whilst I’m not sure I do fake it, I do know that I pretty consistently only share the good and not so much the bad and rarely the ugly.
So today I thought I’d share some of my reality…
- I never unload the cutlery drawer in the dishwasher. Never. Whilst my home may look tidy, I only photograph the tidy bits and often move stuff out of shot to make it look tidier that it actually is. Open the dishwasher, or most of the cupboards for that matter in my house and you’ll realise I’m no Mrs Hinch.
- I take my stress out on my hubby and kids. I’m more snappy if I’m tried or stressed, much less inclined to agree to fun and whilst I’m really good at recognising this and apologising unreservedly if it’s uncalled for, it doesn’t stop it happening.
- My children are constantly touching. And they are either loving and affectionate or they are attacking each other. The pictures I share where one child is hugging another or holding hands are never faked. But, I never take or share pics of them when they are pinching each other either! It’s always one extreme or the other (& it drives me a bit bonkers if I’m honest that they can be so nice to each other one minute and nasty the next). So whilst I only share the loving moments, trust me when I say there is an equal amount of abusive ones!
- I do juggle like crazy. In addition to the kids and D&T I also work as a freelance lawyer and balancing it all is sometimes a struggle. I live week to week sometimes day to day so don’t expect me to know what’s going on until it’s upon us and happening. And I do drop the odd ball. I work hard at keeping the important balls afloat but sometimes stuff gets forgotten. The juggle also means compromises for the kids, which don’t get seen. This year I took them to Wales on my own for a week. A friend commented how fabulous it looked and it was, for the most part. But every lunch time I had a work call which I had to be on. So regardless of where we were that day or what we were doing, at 1pm they all sat in the car eating sandwiches in silence whilst mummy was on the phone. Then from 7pm onwards mummy worked too – whether they were asleep or not. I never bothered sharing pics of those moments alongside my happy children frolicking on the beach photos but that was my reality. And wow, was I exhausted when we got home!
- My kids eat some sort of mini chocolate bar every day without fail. They get a treat for doing their homework or being quiet whilst I’m on a work call or some other pull on my time, and rarely a day goes by without some sort of sweet intake. They are also really fussy about cooked vegetables (albeit they will eat raw anything!). Whilst I think therefore that they have a pretty ok balanced diet, it could be better. I often don’t share the pics I take of some of the yummy puddings and fun snacks I make for them for fear that people will think I let them max out on sugar at all times. But this brings me to…
- I drink way too much Coke in this parenting journey of mine. I have at least one can a day every day and most days I have two. The children are not allowed near the stuff but I could not function without it. It saddens me that every picture I have in hospital of when my babies arrived has bottles of coke in the background. But it is my reality. I’ve never before shared my coke drawer on social media but please see below!
And perhaps of most significance;
7. I care what other people think. I mean really care, way too much actually. In the whole time I’ve been brain dumping on D&T, I’ve only had two comments which could be perceived negatively. They still hit me hard when I think about them. How instagrammers deal with trolls I’ve no idea. So whilst I want my social media to be more successful, I am ill equipped to deal with the rough that comes with the smooth of that. I want to please people. But I’m not wholly comfortable with who I am and when someone says something negative it hurts.
So there you go, some of my reality behind the Facebook facade. It’s true I go out of my way to make memories for kids. It’s so important to me. And I want to the best mum I can be. I’m constantly learning, trying harder, banishing myself when I shout or make the wrong parenting choices. Constantly seeking for the most important approval of all – that of my kids.
Like everyone else I guess there are good moments, bad moments and Instagram worthy moments. And whilst I aim for balance, I’m never going to openly fess up (other than this one time!) to the mess, chaos and scrapping children that goes along side the Elf bringing snow, the loving ‘Dear mummy’ notes and the pretty bits of my home. I’m not sure I fake social media. But I certainly am selective about it. And when I am scrolling other people’s’ feeds and pondering their perfection verses my flaws, I guess I should remind myself that they are likely selective too.